You Whirl Me Right Round, Babby
by YourNeighborhoodAngstyEmoKid
Summary: After a long day of Deceptively Deceiving Decepticon work, Starscream arrives home to find his husband Dirk Strider has stuff planned. He's not involved in it at all but the point is things are planned.


After a long day at decepticon work, Starscream took his usual decepticon train home. During the decepticon train ride he contemplated decepticon life, he realised it was mostly filled with...wait for it...deception! Dun dun dun, and then he realised that was pointless and just fell asleep.

Once he finally got home he was greated by an ever cheerful Dirk Strider (yep it's a multi-crossover fic), his loving human husband. Who never, ever asked him how in the haybale, homosexual mating betwixt a robot and human would work. They ate a romantic spaggetti dinner, prepared by Dirk -who secretly wished Starscream would get off his lazy metal end and make dinner himself sometime- who loved Starscream so. After wards Dirk gathered up all the _circular_ plates off the _circular_ table, then proceeded to put them in the somehow _circular_ dish washing unit. Starscream then decided he would go out bench drinking with Bumblebee, aka Bumblebuzz (cause he's always hungover). But as he went to leave ran to the door and slapped him. "NO!" Dirk say. "Dat is so gay of you to leave me now. I got stuff planned, you sit down on the couch you jerk." Dirk punctuated "couch" with a slap, and then ran off into the dark hallway they had. It was just this random dark hallway that went on for who knows how long. No one was ever allowed in there but Dirk. Some say it held the portals to many dimensions, others said it was where he kept the washer and dryer since SOMEONES gotta do the laundry.

Starscream had been sitting on the couch for atleast half an hour according to his _circular_ internal clock. This was bulldonkey, mwweh! Suddenly he heard an enging whistle from behind. turned around to see Percy knocking every in the kitchen over with his fat caboose, literally. Starscream entered the _circular _kitchen to see what the heck was a matter, and Percy turned around, his face was caked entirely in horrifically done blush and eyeshadow. Fake eyelashes punctuated his every wink.

"P-Percy umm...what...why are you in my house?" Starscream sorta half stammered, he wasn't some wimp who stuttered a whole sentence.

"Suga, no shush. We only make luv noa." Percy rubbed his front buffers against Starscream, tearing off the metal plates on his legs, it was excruciatingly painful.

"but, mah man Percy? Dirk will not be pleased...even though we literally never do...the thing" Starscream objected to the engine.

"AHA but Dirk WILL be pleased indeed. He called me over to provid you with some lovin's. Back in college we were dormmates, who screwed like all the time. Were practially married at this point." Percy said, then realising that Starscream actually IS married to Dirk, wow nice one Perc...he really needs a better nickname. "Anyways he called me over to give you what he cannot, a hot steamy railing session."

"oh, well if you say that he said that you could say that he said so." Starscream replied before jumping onto Percy.

MENwhile in the other room, (hehe get it? men...WHILE) Dirk chanted the magical words, "Oh wicked spirit born of a lost soul in limbo;"- and so on. Then transformed into his Angelic form, it was hot. Though his wings were smushing him against the wall, he really should have done this in a bigger room. He put his wings in order and then turned to Whirl who was sitting on the bed. "I'm ready." He sauntered his fine booty over to the robot before him. God he loved robots...so much, so would say...too much...they were probably right.

"Do it." Dirk said with a stern anime face. Whirl nodded and then turned on his fan. Dirk walked over, lifted up his skirt and jammed his rod into the fan system. Both breaking Whirls internal fan that kept him alive, and slicing his junk to shreds, but it was worth it. Whirl turned their _cicular_ beds power on, and it then began to...hehe WHIRL around. They just kept spinning like this faster and faster until Dirk fell into the fan and died. Whirl wasn't going back to prison so he quietly crept out of the window and left.

Percy and Starscream were done now, Percy now knew where Starscream got his name from. Or maybe now because Starscream was always screaming about something. Percy then went to leave but suddenly in the doorway Dirk Strider respawned because he was a fricking angel, not like you can kill one twice. But then he was immediatly spawnkilled by Percy's buffers smushing him to death into the door. It felt great to Percy but pretty horrific to Dirk. Starscream...screamed yep "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Whirl robbed my wallet again!" Then he set down the emtpy wallet and looked up to see Dirk's mangled corpse. "NOOOOOOOO MY ACTUAL FRICKING HUSBAND. Wow you suck Percy, get out no one likes you." So Percy left threw their _circular_ door, rolling over Dirk Strider's now somewhat _circular_ corpse.


End file.
